Into the Calm and the Quiet
by Kye Above
Summary: Crack. Dark Humor. When Matt finds the Death Note, he and Mello end up causing more trouble than they ever intended. Roger's dead, but no one's really complaining, apples are disappearing, Near is acting like a insane creep and L suspects supernatural causes. Hints of MxM and NxVariousMales
1. Come Little Children

**Originally wrote this almost a year ago. Decided to post it again.**

**Near's OOCness is completely intended.**

* * *

Matt sat down on edge of his bed. In his right hand was a black notebook that he had found when he had been forced outside and something had urged him to pick it up, even though it was probably just someone's diary. From the title written across the cover, going along with his diary theory, it was the kind of diary were the owner ranted about how much he wanted everyone dead. But he would not know until he opened it, and waited until then to do so.

The first few pages were black, with white writing, matching the cover. It was a list of what appeared to be rules, and number one caught his attention right away.

"The human whose name is written in this notebook shall die? Wow, the owner must hold a huge grudge." He skimmed through the rest of the rules, not overly interested anymore, but still feeling obligated to finish. It was very detailed, he had to admit that, but the concept of a notebook being able to kill people was about level with keys being used as weapons. It would make a great video game, and he put the idea away for keeping, but it was impossible for it to happen in real life.

"Though it would be awesome to be able to kill anyone just by knowing their face and their name. A person could become a god with powers like that. Not that I'd want to." Becoming bored of the notebook, he tossed it away before even looking at the white pages. It landed on Mello's bed. Matt lied down on his bed and grabbed his handheld off the side table, and started playing.

He continuously died, his thoughts constantly drifting back to the notebook. It most likely belonged to someone at Wammy's House, but who would come up with something like that? Mello seemed likely, but he prefered to show people what he thought of them to their face. He also did not seem like he would put so much effort into something that he would only see, unless he had left it around on purpose. He thought about the others at Wammy's, ruling out the younger ones, and almost ruling out Near before he jokingly decided that it was quite possible it belonged to him because it was obvious that Near was actually evil and was plotting to kill them all one day.

Matt decided then that looking at what else had been written in the notebook would help discover the owner's identity, as he really needed to cure his curiosity. But Mello chose to enter the room at that time, probably in search of chocolate. Mello noticed the notebook right away.

"What is that and what is it doing on my bed?"

"Just some notebook I found outside." Matt sat up in bed and put his handheld back on the side table as Mello walked over and picked up the notebook.

"Death Note?"

"Yeah. Read over the rules, you'll probably get a few chuckles out of them."

Mello cracked a smile after reading the first rule, and it only widened as he continued. When he finished reading the rules, he turned to the white paper and was surprised to find that nothing was written in.

"This is blank." After a moment, his grin returned wider than ever. Matt watched with curiosity as Mello reached over and grabbed a pencil from his side table. "While the chances of this being real are lower than Near's ability to live, it doesn't hurt many if we test it out just in case. Near seems like the perfect test subject."

"Do you know his real name? I'm sure the only name you can use is their birth name." Matt got off his bed and crossed the room to sit beside Mello, who had regretfully abandoned the idea of using Near, but decided he would be one of those he would write the name of if he could figure it. Well, if the notebook was for real.

"Then let's use Roger. No one would miss him." He scratched the name of the old man onto the page and flipped the book shut. "Now all we need to do is wait forty seconds, and then go check to see if he's kicked the bucket."

Those forty seconds plus were spent in silence. Both were thinking that they should have kept track of the time. Eventually they had decided that they had waited long enough, and after stashing the notebook in the place where Mello kept his chocolate, they left for Roger's office, where they knew the old man would be. They sort of hoped that he was dead, partly because the old man had never liked them, and they had not liked him back, and partly because Roger did not like any of the kids interrupting whatever he did in his office all day.

When they entered the hall, they saw that one of the door's of Roger's office was opened. Standing in front of it, they saw Roger face planted on his desk, his arms limp, and he was not visibly breathing. Strangely, Near was sitting on Roger's desk, an odd look on his face as he stared at Roger's body. The best way to describe it would be a combination of morbid fascination, amusement, and Near's normal emotionless face. Over all, it came off as creepy. Near turned to look directly at the two friends and tilted his head to the side slightly.

"If you're here to see Roger, that's not quite possible. As you can tell, he's dead. I believe it was a heart attack." He twirled some of his hair, but it came off as looking more like the gesture that signified craziness. "But it's to be expected of...someone his age." Near slipped down from the desk and sat down in his preferred position, before once again looking at Matt and Mello, who were still frozen to the spot, not sure if it was because Roger was actually dead or from the dark aura that swarmed around Near.

"So what is that you wanted to ask Roger? I'm sure because he's recently dead, his soul or spirit is still surely in this room. He'll probably be able to hear you, though he wouldn't be able to answer." He started playing with his hair again, now sporting a much too happy smile.

Mello and Matt didn't know what was creepier. That Roger had died of a heart attack right after they had written his name down, or the way Near was acting. Roger's death really could have been a coincidence. After all, Roger was getting old. But it was definitely the way Near was acting disturbed them greatest, but it also confused them as well. Near had always been a bit creepy, mostly in the sense that he rarely showed emotion, but never in the way he was acting now. Matt decided he preferred the normal Near.

"Ah, no..we have nothing to say to Roger. We were just passing by!" Matt was glad to have finally gained back his ability to speak, but he could not hide the fear in it. He had not even known he was scared until he had spoken. Mello had picked up on his fear and gave him a look. 'It's just Near, no matter how much he might be trying to mess with us.', the look said.

"Well, then continue on your way." Near looked down at the floor. "Don't worry about Roger. It's probably too late for him. I'll eventually call to have his body taken away."

The two were admittedly more than happy to get away from Near. They raced back to their room and slammed the door behind them. Mello immediately raced for his chocolate stash and dug out the notebook. He grabbed the pencil he had wrote Roger's name with and tried to use the eraser to get rid of the name. He might as well have been using nothing.

"Dammit!" He threw the notebook to the ground and tossed the pencil across the room. "It wouldn't erase at all." He looked at Matt, who was wondering if this was all a dream that he was having and his imagination was getting the best of him. It would explain a lot about what was going on. No damn way a notebook could actually kill someone.

"I think this notebook is for real." The statement was useless to say. Deep down, they had both long since accepted that conclusion. But there was still the possibility that it was all a coincidence or a dream. They could eventually wake up, maybe in the same bed after after their first time drinking. They would look at each other awkwardly, hope that all they had done was fall asleep in the same bed, before having a good laugh.

But this was not a dream, and both knew it. They had really killed someone, even if it was not done directly. 'Thou Shalt Not Kill' just went out the window.


	2. I'll take Thee Away

Matt was in slight conflict with himself. He was kind of happy Roger was dead, and he was sure once it got out that he was, the children at Wammy's would throw a party that would last until Wammy came to stop it. But he had taken part in his death, and while he and Mello would sometimes joke about getting rid of certain kids (Near) , he had sworn a long time ago that he would never actually kill someone unless it was in self defence. He may not have been the one to write Roger's name, but he had found the book in the first place.

They were lying on their beds, not talking to the other. The notebook was still where Mello had thrown it. Matt glanced over the spot occasionally, always expecting to see it doing something demonic. But it acted like a normal notebook. It was just like any other notebook at first glance, other than the now chilling title.

"Matt," He turned his head to look at his blond friend, who still did not look happy, but did have a slightly different facial expression. "I think the world is just fucking with us. It wouldn't be the first time, considering that we're orphans." Mello's eyes narrowed.

"So it's possible that it wasn't the notebook that killed him, but it really was a mere coincidence?" Matt jumped off his bed and grabbed the notebook from off the floor. A shiver ran through his body. Was he actually scared of the thing? Near back in Roger's office was scary, not some stupid notebook.

"There is really only one way to find out. Also, could you get me so chocolate? I forgot about getting some in the excitement over the notebook."

After Mello had his chocolate, they sat across from each other on Mello's bed. They had decided that if they would risk someone's life in an attempt to see if this thing was truly real, they would use some on that deserved to die. They argued briefly over whether they would use a celebrity or a criminal, but they had decided that even though a celebrity dying would have the most coverage, there were already too many celebrity deaths and they would never hear the end of it if the celebrity they had considered died. A criminal would get coverage, and then fade into the back of people's minds not long after. Criminals also deserved to die more the celebrities, Matt claimed.

Matt was searching for criminals on his laptop, while Mello munched on his chocolate, growing impatient. They had placed the notebook between them, front cover down. This was how it was for several minutes, because Matt wanted to find a criminal that did not regret their actions, was known enough that it would be reported in a place where they could look it up, and their crimes were particularly heinous. When he found the perfect one, he could not help but smile, despite what they were going to do.

"Hue Peacock. With a name like that you'd think he be something other than a mass murderer." Matt commented, his grin widening, having actually said the man's name. Mello couldn't help but smirk at the dark humour, his mind joining Matt's in the gutter. Matt closed his laptop and put it aside. They both stared at the notebook for a few moments, wondering if it was really wise to go along with this.

"You should write his name down. I wrote down Roger's, so it's only fair that you write Huge, I mean Hue Peacock's name down." Matt nodded and grabbed the notebook. He had retrieved the pencil while getting Mello's chocolate, even though they had more. It felt right to use the same pencil, but neither were sure why.

With a small amount of hesitation, Matt opened the notebook and with light strokes, he wrote down the name, right underneath Roger's name. He immediately closed it and hid it under Mello's pillow, not wanting to look at it. There was an awkward silence between the two afterwards, and Mello had not eaten any of what remained of his chocolate bar during that time.

"So...what should we talk about now?" That got Mello going.

"How about that brat Near! Did he really think he could scare us with his stupid behaviour back in the office? If only we had his real name, then we could kill him and make it seem like an accident. The notebook did say you could write down the cause of death." He broke off a piece of his chocolate, most likely pretending it was Near.

"That's assuming the notebook actually works, and that Roger's death was not some cruel joke on us from higher beings." It was too early for there to be anything about the murderer's possible death. They would probably have to wait a couple hours, if not until the next day, until they would know if he was dead.

"I said the world, not higher beings. God would never do anything like this." Mello was highly religious, something that often surprised people when they found out. Matt on the other hand was not sure on the existence of God, and he was sure the word for it was agonistic. Mello was too good a friend to overly criticize him over his beliefs, though he always said that his parents would have. Mello still criticized others over their beliefs though. Near's atheism was one of the things that Mello always complained about.

Matt decided change the subject back to Near, wanting to get out of a religious debate.

"So what could be causing Near to act the way he was?"Mello's answer was immediate, meaning he had already thought it over.

"I think it's drugs." The look he gave Matt told him he had more to explain. "You may be surprised, but I don't know much about drugs, and I don't plan to ever know more than necessary, but imagine this scenario. Roger could have used some kind of drug. It wouldn't surprize me at all. He could have had some out before he died. Near enters Roger's office before or while he's having his heart attack. After Roger dies, Near inspects the drugs and inhales too much of it. When he hears us approaching, he pushes the drugs off the desk. You know the rest."

Matt thought it over for a moment before he found the first hole in Mello's theory.

"Wouldn't we have smelt it when we entered the room?"

"True, but do you have a better theory?"

"He could have finally cracked from pressure, and what we saw was just the beginning?"

Mello was silent.

"I've known it would happen for a long time now."

* * *

One would have thought Near would have called to have the body taken away, or at least have left the room, but he was still in Roger's office. He was now back on the desk, with his legs hanging over the edge. He was softly singing nursery rhymes, but in his own, honest ways. All in an odd tone.

_Bloody Mary, so contrary_

_How does your graveyard grow?_

_With various torture devices_

_And pretty guillotines all in a row_

One of the newer residents of Wammy's House, a fourteen year old boy known to everyone as Ren, heard the singing and went to investigate. He saw Roger's body right away, but it was impossible not too. Roger's desk _was_ right in front of the door.

"Near, what's up with Roger?" He was scared, there was no denying it. Near stopped singing and looked at him, looking a bit surprised, but Ren could not comprehend why. Ren was already backing out of the room. Near kept a straight face as he spoke.

"He's dead. Dead and gone." Then the grin he had been repressing appeared.

Ren made a wrote down Near on his mental list of people to avoid from then on, right below Righteous, who would forever be the scariest person he could ever have the displeasure of meeting. As he ran, he was close to screaming. Near's grin faltered as he watched him leave. He left much too soon.

Suddenly, he heard an annoying ring tone, and it was coming from inside Roger's desk. Luckily, it seemed to be in the drawer below him and not the one below Roger's body, so he did not have to move the dead weight out of the way. He opened the drawer and pulled out the pink cell phone. It was a text from Wammy, who was asking how everything was going. He typed a reply, but with difficulty. He was not good with cell phones.

_Roger died of a heart attack about fifteen minutes ago._

He giggled when the reply came, but stopped when he realized that he had been. Giggling was for fangirls like Star. After a moment of thought, he put the cell phone in a pocket inside his pajamas. It did not really matter that it was pink, Roger would not need it anymore, and no one at Wammy's House was allowed a personal phone. He went to close the drawer, when something else caught his eye.

_Hel-lo Beautiful!_

* * *

Mello and Matt spent their next awkward silence coming close to actually doing something. Matt spent the time trying to play his handheld, but he found himself too distracted, obviously because of what was going on. Mello was sitting on the corner of his bed, looking away from Matt, and eating yet another bar of chocolate. But the last bit was completely normal.

'This is so wrong.' Matt thought with a grimace. He closed his handheld and held it in one hand, which he had lying on his bed. He looked at Mello again, wondering how his friend was taking. Then, without warning, his handheld was lifted from his hand. Startled, he made a sound that alerted Mello that something was wrong. Together, they stared at the ugly creature floating above Matt's bed, now trying to play his game. Matt could not find the will to speak or move, but Mello smirked, having expected something like this.

"Oh, are you the demon here to take our souls and condemn them to hell?"

The creature looked up from the game, but only because he had died. He had wanted to try a human video game ever since they had first been created.

"Demon? I'm a Shinigami. That notebook you've wrote in used to belong to me...sort of, but you can keep it. The name's Ryuk by the way." Ryuk went back to playing Matt's game, which he was intent on beating.

Surprisingly quick, Matt started to recover, and was now more annoyed that his game had been taken from him, even though he had been finished with it. He was about to ask for it back, when there was a quiet knock on the door. All three occupants looked towards it. The knocker let himself in and the two humans were surprised to see that it was Near. Unknown to them, Ryuk was grinning more at the sight of the blond haired boy.

"You don't have to worry about me. I can only been seen by you two." Ryuk said, knowing from the looks on their faces that they were worried. After he went back to playing the game.

"What do you want brat?" Mello asked, and bit into his chocolate afterwards for added effect. Near smiled a little.

"Mr. Wammy knows about Roger and probably so does the rest of the Wammy's Kids by now. Ren entered to office after you left, and soon after he left, which I was sort of disappointed by, another student came in, saw the body and unlike the rest of us, saw the need to call about it. I was hoping to leave it there to rot." He sounded disappointed at the end.

"That's...nice?" Matt was not sure how to act around Near anymore. If he really had gone crazy, anything could end up setting him off. Mello had obviously not picked up on this.

"You've turned into one sick bastard. Tell me Near, are you high?" Near actually looked like he was thinking the question over.

"No, I pretty sure that I'm not." Then Roger's annoying ring tone sounded from Near's pocket, reminding him that he needed to find a way to change it. "Well it looks like Mr. Wammy has texted again." He took the phone out of his pocket, and flipped it open to read the text. "He wants the details." He looked back up at Mello and Matt. "Do you know the details?" His voice almost sounded accusing.

"You'd know it best. You were obviously the first to find the body." Matt statted, backing a few steps farther away. With a mutter of 'true', Near looked back at the phone and did his best to explain what happened, though there was a bit of lying involved. When he was finished, he returned his new phone to his pocket and told them what he told Wammy.

"I was in the area, don't ask why, when I heard strange sounds from his office. Since they weren't those bad sounds, I decided to investigate. I see Roger faceplanting on his desk. I climbed onto the desk to see if he was alright. You know that he wasn't." Matt and Mello nodded. Whatever was wrong with Near seemed to be wearing off, if how he was acting now was compared to earlier. But maybe they thought this too soon. "Also, seeing as I'm here, look what I found in Roger's desk drawer." The two watched as Near pulled out a pocket knife from somewhere. "I call it Marker."

"Marker?" They both asked at the same time, looking at each other.

Ryuk chuckled. "Hey, that's a pretty creative name for a knife!"

"Yup, I put a lot of thought of into it! One would think that because there is a B carved into it, I should have called it something that starts with a B, but I like Marker better." He put the knife back in his pocket. "I have one last thing to say before I leave you to your...business." He smiled, and something flashed briefly in his eyes. "If you decide to keep a pet, it's going to take a lot to keep it fed." And with a small snicker, he finally left the room, leaving Mello and Matt both confused and annoyed.

Ryuk chucked again.

"Human's are so interesting."


	3. Into A Land Of Enchantment

**I looked at this story recently, and thought "Oh, what the hell. I'll write more."**

**Enjoy the spawn of my quirky madness.**

* * *

Some place in the world, the man known as Huge P-cock among the other prisoners doubled over in a heart attack. His last thoughts were 'I really wish I had waited to kill people until after the season finale of Doctor Who!'

(Maybe)

* * *

In complete honesty, Near was not himself. At some point he must have hit his head, or inhaled/ate something he shouldn't have. Maybe it could have been that he drove himself to insanity, unable to suppress his emotions any longer, and no longer gave a fuck about whether or not what he said or did was right.

Within five minutes of leaving Mello and Matt's room, said blond boy had already ran himself into more trouble. To explain this particular incident would be impossible, as those involved refuse to tell their story, no matter how much money they are offered. All that is known is that Righteous, who was among the victims, confronted him afterwards.

"That was quite impressive." The Japanese boy said, looking Near over. Something that immediately caught his eyes was that Near's normally straightened and perfect hair was currently starting to curl into it's natural form, like Near hadn't bother putting in any products, and had half-assed it when he was straightening it.

Near smiled, and it was a familiar, but still terrifying one. "Not as impressive as you, Light Yagami. You're the only one who didn't run off crying." Near laughed at the look that appeared on Righteous's face. "Oh, yes. I know all your names now. You wouldn't believe all the stupid names I've come across."

"You looked at Roger's files?"

Near scoffed, but then nodded. "Yeah let's go with that. If it helps you sleep at night." With those words, Near finally beat Righteous off top place of the list of people to avoid, and it would probably only be a week at most before he became top in everything. Mello would be pissed, both in the context that he'd be angry, and in the sense that he'd be roaring drunk.

A silence fell between the two boys. Unless at least one of them wasn't really a boy, then it wouldn't be between two boys. This is completely irrelevant though.

"Well this is awkward, isn't it?" Righteous noted, really wishing that he wasn't the type to not walk out on a conversation. Well, there had been that one time...but technically he had shot and burnt himself out of a conversation, and then had used teary eyes to get out of another. But he didn't have a gun with him, though it would have saved people a lot of trouble if he had, and he most certainly wouldn't burn down Wammy's House. Nor would he ever fake tears around anyone ever again.

Near leaned in closer than was comfortable, the the awkwardness increased. "I don't think so. Want play a game?"

What Righteous said in reply, and what happened afterwards, has to be censored due to the sheer absurdity of it.

* * *

As to what Matt and Mello were doing, Ryuk was still playing with Matt's handheld, with no thoughts of giving it back, Matt was questioning life and Mello was ignoring him. They were all ignoring the whole death book thingy. It was now a fact of life. Or would 'death be more appropriate.

"I am I the only one who's noticed that despite living in the England, none of us speak with British accents? Near clearly sounds like he's Canadian, which would make a lot of sense actually." Matt casually said, trying to think of things to fill the void of not having his handheld...it was actually a DS Lite, but for some reason he called it his handheld. Oh the memories…

"How about the fact that Ryuk looks like he's wearing a mask, and that might not be his real face. Or that Near is most certainly a platinum blond and not albino. Also, it kind of just dawned on me that Mello and Near are probably related in someway. Brothers, perhaps?" Something dawned on him then, and he sat up in his bed.

"Mello!" Matt screeched, loud enough that even Near's fellow Canadians heard it across the pond. It certainly got Mello's attention. But not Ryuk's though. The Shinigami didn't hear anything apparently.

"What Matt?!"

Matt glared accusingly at Mello. "You and Near are brothers or at least related some how!" Matt was so mad, that even the not so mellow Mello, didn't have time to express any anger. "You know Near's real name, yet you haven't written it down. Damn you!"

Mello crossed his arms and glared at Matt. "I know that his first name is Nate. That's all. He always used my third step-father's last name, and I know for sure that the guy wasn't Near's father. Near's last name could be anything under the sun." He looked away as he spoke next. "My mother really got around."

"I declare the topic ended, to save myself the need for brain bleach."

* * *

**There's the chapter. Happy?**

**And yes, Light's at Wammy's House. Why? Because I could, dammit!**


End file.
